NOTE: We have decided to split up our first entry into two pieces, Part I (we are using roman numerals to convey a sense of sophistication and class) which will cover the bike ride, and Part II, which will focus on the establishment and the wings.
Just in time for that last dragging hour of work on Friday….
PART I
Trip 1
Place: Gerri’s Tavern
Mileage on Bikes: 7.99 Miles One Way
So it was that on April 21, 2010 at 5:30 PM Central Standard Time the Ryde or Fly project was actually brought to fruition. As the cloudy and ominous sky lingered over Beaverdale two fearless ladies mounted their cruisers and took it to the streets, this is their story…
Many claimed we would never make for it because of the impending downpour (that didn’t actually come until Friday,)Please Note almost certain doom in the sky...
Other reasons for the hating and discouragement include but are not limited to, the general lack of respect for this project, past general lack of commitment to actually doing things we say we are going to do, and a general attitude of laziness and lethargy on the part of your fearless bloggers that has been exhibited in the past. However, we were not deterred by these pin head skeptics. We knew it was time to ryde.
....Here we are looking like two dbags giving the thumbs up....
The official starting point from here on out will be the intersection of Fagen Drive and Beaver Avenue, known henceforth as Fagen Beaver
1. Because it is hilarious
2. It sounds kind of German
3. It sounds kind of like some vulgar sex position…so as good a place to start as any
…and that is where this begins….
We rode south on Beaver/41st Street until we hit University and found conditions along these sidewalks to be very pleasant, a few people, however seemed to be really super pissed off that we almost ran them and their pets off the sidewalk but whatever, can’t please them all. There is also sort of an incline on 41st Street, which was semi rough to pedal up, but at this point we had little idea this would be only the first of several uphill battles, and I mean that literally, like we were literally battling to get up hills.
Upon reaching University at 40th Street we saddled up for the 70 blocks of eastbound travel. It was truthfully a pretty uneventful ride until we reached the Dogtown area of University around 34th Street where we decided to take a little detour down frat row to see if anyone was interested in yelling vulgar yet ego boosting things to us.
We seemed poised to hit the jackpot when we noticed a group of brothers sitting on the roof of one of the frat houses guzzling brews and throwing the cans into the yard, known in some circles as a “sure thing”… yet after slowly cruising by (ok, twice) not a single brother yelled anything encouraging like “Bangin’ Tits” or like “Come to my hotdog stand” or anything nice like that. Back when I was in college it was sort of understood that frat boys could always be counted upon to shower ladies with vulgar and sexist comments but these gentlemen just minded their own business, which was sort of disheartening, but on we went…
After getting back to University we cruised down to about 16th Street, and it was here that conditions quickly deteriorated. Broken glass was strewn over the weed and dirt/sand covered sidewalks/ smashed down grass paths. Luckily we noticed the DMPD had sent out reinforcements to back us on our journey.
Then we got to Mercy Hospital area where we were faced with the following hill
Which was a fucking bitch to pedal up, but it would come to be much worse on the way home when we had to go up the hill by Mercy
*RED: TRAVEL NOT ADVISED/DEFINITE TERRORIST THREAT*
We barely made it up after nearly dying of cardiac arrest (Thank God we skipped the KFC Double Downs we had considered eating earlier in the week) and rode awhile longer finally crossing into the Streets that were preceded by “East” indicating we were not far from our destination and that we might actually make it….
This was before crossing the River….on the previously mentioned “might as well have been an interstate bridge.” This was by far the most dangerous part of the journey. The sidewalks had more sand than a goddamn beach in Tahiti. Plus, we were riding into oncoming traffic with no guard rails to separate us from the oncoming traffic and it was single file line style wide. As if this wasn’t dangerous enough at the very top of the bridge in the middle we encountered two pedestrians, (nice, thug looking, little guys wearing flat bills and dollar sign chains) that valiantly stepped into the street much to the dismay of the honking and screaming motorists to allow us to pass them, risking their own lives for the sake of journalism and for that we are incredibly grateful.
After the brush with Mick Hart Was Here we were a little concerned but more determined than ever to reach the goal. Once we made it to the famous A&E Cows and it started to lightly drizzle we knew we were home free.
...The Caption for this is eat more chicken in a cow voice...
From here we cruised the last few blocks to East 30th, passing a few notable landmarks on University, first was Ron’s Dawg House, a bar that seems to open at 7am Tuesday-Saturday which seems like my kind of place and maybe a personal challenge to attend to later, and secondly, my favorite liquor store in Des Moines that I have never actually gone to (Last Stop Beverage Shop.) After that we took a right on East 30th ready to close in on the final stretch.
When we got within demilitarized Gerri’s green zone of Baghdad we noticed the gates to fairgrounds were open and this seemed as good a time as any for another detour. This is when I rode my bike with no hands as fast as I could down that wide road in front of the Grandstand
…and nearly broke my fucking neck while my sister/travel partner [S/TP] cracked up and tried to take a picture while laughing like a deranged hyena. Real Funny asshole.
From here we went over to do a special photo in remembrance of a follower who is no longer with us. She was a very special person and we know she is in a better place* and would have loved to be here. This photo is for you girl….
*Note: She isn’t actually dead, she just moved to Denver.
After that we were politely forced from the grounds by a security officer and within a few minutes had arrived at our destination….
GERRI’S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please See Part II…
